The Morning After: Season 7 Premiere TWD Review

There’ll be spoilers. Prepare yourself for that.  But also: don’t worry. I won’t make you wait six months to get to the end of the post.

While I pad the post so the preview won’t reveal relevant episode details for those of you who don’t want to be spoiled, I want you to think about the whole Supernatural* fandom, chanting the same John Winchester joke in tandem. It was funny at first, but I find I can’t encourage that kind of behavior.

negan

YEP. You got it. Occasionally actors play more than one role in the history of their careers. Haha. Hahaha.
*I say this as an ardent member of the Supernatural fandom.

That’s enough padding, I think. First I want to talk about how lowkey hilarious Negan is. “Simon’s my RIGHT hand man, without that what do you have LEFT.” And “You have to make a good first impression” when Lucille just made a serious impression on some skulls. He should just carry around a collection of unplugged microphones so he can drop them when he does a zinger. The vampire bat one was rough, but he acknowledged it and moved on. He really killed out there.  (Laughtrack. And continuing on.)

Look, we saw how well his group planned things out when they were blocking our group in the season six finale. I truly think Negan planned, the whole time, to bring Rick out there with the hanging walker to test his mettle. With the smoldering wreckage giving a solid Silent Hill style smoky atmosphere, it was the perfect place for an exam.  And that right hand left hand joke was absolutely said in reference to what he was planning for Carl, too. I think Negan’s got it together.  He’s not looking five moves ahead. He’s looking thirty. Rick was looking two.

I’m going to miss Abraham and Glenn– they were beautiful, hilarious additions to the cast. I wish Glenn had died before he killed an innocent person in his sleep. I wish they’d kept him pure, kept the character the paragon of virtue that he’s been up to then.  I love everything that comes out of Abraham’s mouth. I actually ran into Michael Cudlitz at a Barbecue joint in Texas. Nicest guy.

img_2231(Warning: might not actually be Michael Cudlitz. Might just be a statue of a cowboy.)

Whole show I was making this face :C
Major grimace town.
And I was in serious denial with Glenn. Even when he popped back up with the eye thing and the skull thing, I was like, “Huh, I wonder how they’re going to fix this.” It didn’t cross my mind that he’d be killed, too.  Until he was.

Loved the arm scene with Carl. Very reminiscent of Abraham (the Bible Abraham, not the cowboy sculpture Abraham) bringing Isaac up on the mountain to sacrifice him, only to be stopped at the last moment by an angel.  Again, Negan did that on purpose.

Also: people are being so sweet and poetic. Glenn said, “I’ll find you, Maggie” because he was talking about the afterlife or blah blah figurative language blah, but let’s be real about life. He just had major irreparable injury to his frontal lobe, and he was hemorrhaging with a colossal brain bleed. That was brain damage talking. That was his dying brain latching onto one last memory before the lights went out, one last major emotional touchstone in his life, and that was getting back to Maggie. Always making it home to Maggie. He’s just lucky he said that and not, “Blender kitten saucepan twig.”

Kind of concerned that Negan Halloweeners might be in for some trouble this year. Stay safe out there, guys, and make Lucille behave herself.

Loved that imagined Sunday dinner scene at the table. Appropriately sad. But it kind of gave me some closure. It didn’t make what happened up to that point better exactly, but it made it easier to bear. The last image of Glenn wasn’t him as hamburger meat. It was him with his son on his lap, at the head of the table.

I think that’s all I have to say. It was way more brutal and screwed up than even I thought it would be, and my imagination is pretty impressive. Ask the velociraptor who has tea with me every third Thursday evening.  I agree with the idea that they were trying to break the audience, trying to make it realistic that Rick would surrender control to Negan, make us agree, even.  That was successful.  Consider us broken.  Now build us back up.

5 Tips on How to Exercise When You Have Chronic Joint Pain

1. Don’t.

2. Lie down on the couch and remember the last time you did minor exercise that tiny babies can do without problems and it laid you out for a week.

3. Realize that nothing will ever get better and you will die like this. If you had to run from a bad guy, you wouldn’t be able to, or you would push through it and end up incapacitated for the foreseeable future. Realize that the best you can hope for is a death that is less painful than your life. Not that you don’t like your life– it’s wonderful, and there’s beauty all around, but there’s the ever-present throb, the sharp ache, the stabbing weakness that makes you suck in your breath when your joints give out and it feels like someone’s yanking you by the leg; you’re always conscious of it, it’s like a sore in your mouth you can’t stop tonguing.

4. Remember that there are all these youtube videos about people with problems like yours who did yoga, or pilates, or sold their souls, and they have their testimonials about how great their lives are now. Don’t watch them. They won’t give you hope; they’ll just piss you off.

5. I don’t know, I want to end this on a positive note. You can get through this, or whatever. Things do get better. I guess. Don’t do 100 jumping jacks because you’re cocky and throw your knee out.  Maybe do something low impact, like crying.