What it Sometimes Feels Like to Be a Writer With Anxiety

We’re going to send you swimming with sharks. They might eat you. But they might not. See, that’s a risk you have to take, when you’re a swimmer.

You shouldn’t worry about it. You’re an extraordinary swimmer, for a swimmer with no formal instruction. Wait… you mean you went to college to get your swimming degree? Why did you do that? Are you going to teach swimming? No? Then why couldn’t you teach yourself how to swim? There are so many great swimmers who are self-taught.

You don’t think you can make your money just swimming, do you? There are examples of people doing just that, but that’s the exception, not the rule. Not everyone can be Michael Phelps.

Anyway, don’t worry about it. Either the sharks will eat you or they won’t eat you. It’s out of your hands now! Doesn’t that make you feel better? What do you mean that it actually makes you feel worse? I swear, swimmers are so neurotic.

Besides, plenty of people who have been eaten by sharks go on to live perfectly productive lives.

Your style of swimming isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. That’s okay! People swim in different ways! But your style of swimming might end up with you being eaten by a shark. I just never want you to forget that there are two ways this can go: eaten, or not eaten. It’s a binary system. But you just have to keep trying, every time you’re bitten! Get back in the water! Getting eaten by sharks is part of the job description! If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of getting eaten by sharks, you should probably quit swimming altogether. Maybe just swim in a tiny pool in your backyard. You know, the kind they buy for babies.

I have some experience swimming. I washed my face in the sink once when I was twelve. I take the occasional shower. I know exactly what it’s like to swim. Probably even more than you. I’ve never been scared of being eaten by a shark. I’ve never ever seen a shark in the sink or shower. Are you sure sharks are as scary as you think they are? I don’t think they’re a big deal, personally, but I guess I get why you’re afraid of them.

Have you tried not being scared of sharks? Hope that helps!