This movie had a lot of great moments! Don’t get me wrong! That’s why I have so much to say… because it has so much potential.
For example, for your second draft of this movie you need to keep in the Thor/Loki relationship. Their relationship felt so authentic, especially when they’re arguing.
And the juxtaposition of Loki’s projected image in his cell and his actual grief. The vulnerability of that moment was stellar.
And the beginning of that major fight scene with the “betrayal.” I saw it coming… that it would be a trick, but it didn’t stop it from being a great, satisfying moment.
Darcy needs to be a part of the Avengers. Like, today. She’s awesome. Here’s an idea, though it’s a little prescriptive: try writing a whole movie with just Darcy and Loki. I’d watch the crap out of that.
Loki: I have an army.
Iron Man: We have a Hulk.
Darcy: I have a taser?
Come on, it writes itself.
I enjoyed the Dark Elf’s ships– the way they looked almost like swords and were wielded the same way through the air. There was a definite difference between how Main Bad Guy flew the ship and how Thor did. An object of finesse versus a blunt instrument. It was a nice detail.
And… well– um. Let’s go to the stuff that didn’t work as well.
Your conflict was too overblown. I didn’t believe that this was the one moment in 5,000 years that this destruction of the universe would be possible. And if the universe is going to be destroyed, what are the stakes for the characters onscreen? I get what Thor’s going to lose– he has a family. But you never see Jane’s family. You never see Darcy’s family. You never see the intern’s–I mean Ian’s–family. Jane’s just going to lose Thor. And I don’t care, because, like Loki said and Odin before him, her life is a blink compared to Thor’s. She’s going to be lost no matter what they do, in sixty years or so. This could be easily solved in your next draft of the movie by putting in a few scenes that showed what the rest of the group was losing with the loss of the universe. What are they fighting for? What is worth protecting?
Similarly, the movie makes it clear that there was something going on before the start of the universe, and something will happen after it ends. The end of the universe is an inevitability; it’s just a question of when, and even then, the universe doesn’t truly end it just enters a different state. So why do I care if it ends? What am I holding onto?
The theme throughout the movie of magic illusions saving the day at the last second was a little heavy handed. It got to the point where I could anticipate the next move, and it became a cop-out for moments of high tension. I didn’t believe the tragedies because the movie had this Loki in the Machine in its back pocket.
Your post-credits scene was disappointing. They kiss? Really? This is where you pull your best move out of your pocket. This is your encore. Shawarma. Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. Thor’s hammer in a crater. Even The Wolverine had a better post-credits scene. The Wolverine.
The Collector mid-credits scene was okay, though it made me lose a bunch of respect for Sif and company. I’m not familiar with the Collector, and even I can tell that he’s shifty.
All in all, it wasn’t emotionally satisfying because when you decided to try to destroy the universe, you raised the stakes and the writing didn’t rise to the occasion to meet it. But that’s what second drafts are for, right? I look forward to seeing your revisions!