Brotel California

On an old college campus, cool wind in my hair
stinging smell of cheap cologne rising up through the air.
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a fraternity den
Playing Nickleback and smoking on the porch,
and watching ESPN.
There he stood in the doorway;
I heard Call of Duty roar.
And I was thinking to myself,
“I hope that’s not blood on the floor.”
Then he turned on his iPhone and he showed me the way.
There were mumbles down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say….

Welcome to the Brotel California.
Such an okay place (such an okay place).
Totally debased.
Plenty of room at the Brotel California.
Any time of day (any time of day).
You can join the fray.

He was in a fedora, and an ironic tee.
He’s got lots of sexist thoughts
’cause of the patriarchy.
How they troll youtube comments, make casual threats.
Some hunt OkCupid, “M’lady, don’t be upset.”

So I said to the leader,
“You should work on your game.”
He said, “I got friendzoned again; girls are all the same.”
And all the dudebros are whining from all around,
and if you listen real hard, you can hear the sound….

Welcome to the Brotel California
Such an okay place (such an okay place).
Totally debased.
They’re living it up at the Brotel California
They are so surprised (they are so surprised)
if you chastise.

Then they act like we’re objects,
like we all have our price.
And he said, “Girls don’t date gentlemen, because we’re too nice.”
And in front of the t.v.,
they list what they hate.
They go on about misandry,
but they just can’t get a date.

Last thing I heard from them, I was
running for the door
I had to find the hallway back
to the place I was before
“Chillax,” said a young bro,
(we had no rapport),
“You’d be so much prettier
if you smiled more!”

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