Dear beauty products (and the people who peddle them),
With all due respect, what made you think that I gave a gooey cat turd how I look? Was it the rumpled Batman shirt? The jeans that don’t fit that I have to keep tugging up? The tennis shoes, or the not-trendy-messy messy ponytail?
91% of the time the way I look doesn’t even cross my mind. The other 9% is because, despite popular opinion, I’m not a robot from the future, and I have feelings. A few feelings. Like, five feelings. I get insecure in the morning when I put on clothes, before (during and after) a shower, when I’m being photographed, and when I’m talking to beautiful people.
I only ever wash my face in the shower. I could stand to lose about 25 pounds, but I’m going to do that the old-fashioned way… exercise and trying to eat less candy.
The only time I wish I looked different is when I wish I could be Batman, or a princess in Disney World because how awesome would it be to have a job where I get to play dress up and be nice to kids? To be honest, I like that I’m a little awkward. It’s very… me-ish.
Not to say that I hate compliments. Just that, 91% of the time I’m a mind inside a body, and I don’t put all my worth in that body. I don’t hate it, though I used to.
All of this is to say, I don’t really care if the salt came from the dead sea. I don’t care about the newest foundation, or the nicest face-applicator– I have paintbrushes for that, if I decided I felt like wearing makeup, which happens a couple times a year. I know it’s not your fault. You’re probably taught to target people who look like they have low self-esteem. Which is fine. Whatever. Being grumpy about that is not one of my five feelings.
I just wonder if you paint targets on guys the same way.